SO some of you have probably heard by now the news buzzing around the propsal of Hip Hop and NYs rap member of DIP SET, Jim Jones from his long time girlfriend of six years Chrissy. I'm not really a fan of Reality TV...ok let me stop telling tales, but seriously I don't even have cable, but on my days off I like to stay current with whats going on in the world. SO on Thursday I catch up on Tuesdays show of Love and Hip Hop which airs on VH1 on Tuesday night. However the show is about the Girl Friends of Hip Hip industry stars, the women that are tying to rekindle their career (Oliva, former first Lady of G-Unit) and those trying to be a female MC (Somoya). Then you have the Girlfriends of the men that arent ready to "put a ring on it" but play "house" Chrissy and the 8 year girl friend of rapper Fabulous.
These women seem to think that their men are faithful even though they are surrounded by the industries best groupies and much temptation...I have faith in GOOD men as I have one myself (shouts out to my beau), but how many times have we as women gone down that road of wanting to be with the finest man, the "thug", or the intellect and KNOW in our heart of hearts that man isn't willing to settle down even if JESUS himself came and told him she or you were the one (WAIT..i'm having flash backs...wait...let me get it together...ok i'm cool, lol!)
Ladies in this day and age think that "the wifey" role means he won't cheat. HELLO THERE IS NO COMMITMENT OR COVENANT. We allow them to have sex with us, use us, and then not call, and go missing for weeks, and come RIGHT backwith the "I love you's" as if every things ok. I have played that role in the PAST too many times because I didn't know my worth and was not secure in who I was. Or may be your the woman thats up in age, been with your man for years and are like Crissy; ready to settle down, have kids, and build a life....basically YOUR TIRED OF WAITING. But the lack of patience can get us into relationships that WILL scar us for life. Whether it be emotionally or physically. The Bible says for a reason in Proverbs 18:22 he who finds a (TRUE) wife, finds a GOOD thing and obtains FAVOUR from the Lord (amplified version).
Like my Good friend, mentor and sister said yesterday:
"You would think...somewhere down the line I can hear that argument... "well I didn't want this anyway I did ask you to marry ME!" I wouldn't set myself up for that! I hope it's not for the dollar, because that NEVER last.."
HOW TRUE!!!--I know because i've heard ALL before...
Maybe your not a Christian and you agree with Chrissy's and I quote "yall can wait all day, but i'm gonna get what I want" statement...but where does that road lead in a relationship...forcing someone to be with you?Principles of people being more committed because its something they WANT rather being FORCED don't lie. Have we gotten away from respecting ourselves, knowing our wroth, and allowing the MAN to pursue us and be a MAN? My beau found me doing the things of God and finding my purpose in life, He found me with my head down FOCUSED (I surely want NOT looking for a relationship AT ALL). When I think back on the times that I chased a dude, I found myself crying, heartbroken, and listening to nothing but sad love songs...Now im fulfilled, happy, focused, and my trust is not in him, but focused on the "God in him" and focused on GOD ordering my steps and our relationship.
So ladies DONT be fooled by this. If you have to WAIT wait on the one God has for you, Yes you get lonely, yes you have needs and desires...but you will fail you every time, but when IT'S right and it's a GOD fit it WILL last. Know that God has shaped you, formed you, and made you WONDERful... 1 peter 2:9. Your are a Queen fit for a KING and a KING goes after his. God knows every issue of your heart and shaped you in your mothers womb...Psalm 139. I'm SURE He has a PERFECT PLAN FOR YOU...Jeremiah 29:11. So CHILL out, put your fingers to the plow focus on HIM and your BEAU WILL FIND YOU!!!! TRUST me on this one!
See Chrissys Proposal I'm curious to know your thoughts fellas don't be afraid to comment:
http://www.vh1.com/video/love-hip-hop/full-episodes/proposal/1662016/playlist.jhtml
Love you because your RICH and ROYAL!
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ReplyDeleteinteresting read. i can understand where all this is coming from...lol. there are somethings i agree with but there is nothing wrong with women "chasing". to be honest though, dudes KNOW who they want to make that special relationship happen with from day one. its a certain feeling. i've done some research on it and it's very interesting. what ends up happening is a lot of females end up being Miss Right Now for guys until the ONE comes along...sad reality. i know the feeling all too well....both that is.
ReplyDeleteSO how can a woman determine whether or not shes a keeper? Like he makes her believe shes the one...then BAM things change...hes like im not the marrying type and they break up, and 2 months later hes engaged...like WHAT?!
ReplyDeleteSIS GREAT BLOG...LOVED THE END...couldn't have said it any better, but....
ReplyDeleteWow....a woman proposing to a man! That just breaks my heart!!!! If they been together for that long and they are not married or HE didn't propose maybe he is just not the one! I been watching my sisters belittle themselves, play house or just simply ACT like these men wives forever!The reason why men are not marrying these women is because they give them everything with out a LEGIT commitment spiritually and legally. Why will I buy milk from the store if I own a cow!!! It's time to put a stop to this wifey/hubby stuff without a ring or papers to prove the title.
The best thing for women (or men) to do in this situation is stay focused on God and self or keep it moving! Instead of looking or waiting for Mr.Right work on being Mrs. Right...
Trust me I know this all so well and I thank God that He brought me out of my foolishness...prayerfully he will bring them out too!!!
*MRS. Mells ;-)
@Riches2Royalty: that's the thing. personally, i let the young ladies I'm involved with know what i'm thinking relationship wise. By simply stating that I'm not looking for anything serious is a valid disclaimer from the get go. You can't change a man...or his mind state. I feel as though if I'm clear on what the situation is from the outset, I am in the clear.
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